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05/29/2001 11:55 AM

OOC: Hey, ever wonder what it would be like if the heroes of the lance went on Jerry Springer? No, well neither had I until the other day!!!! :D Feel free to join in if you like!!!:D :D :D :D

Jerry: "Why thankyou, you're so nice! Hello and welcome to the show! Today our guests are here to tell their boyfirnds ex's to take a hike he's mine!"
croud: "YAY!"
Jerry: I'd like you to meet Laurana Solostran. She says that her boyfriends ex girlfrind, Kitiara, just won't leave them alone. Tell us about it."
Laurana: (talking with typical southern "jerry springer show" accent) Well, you see Jerry, it's like this. Me and Tanis have known eath other ever since we were kids, and we've loved each other for a long time. Recently, he left our home town, and since he came back all this *bleep* Kitiara has been doing is calling round, 'Oh, baby I love you! Please come back to me' and all this load of *bleep bleep* and I'm hear today to tell the dirty little *bleepa bleepin bleep* to leave my man alone!"
croud: "YAY!!"
Jerry: Well, before we bring out your boyfrind Tanis so you can talk to him, he made this tape for you because he has something he'd like to tell you. Let's watch this...."

ooc: what exactly does Tanis wanna tell Laurana on the tape?You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

05/29/2001 2:38 PM

Tanis is in the Inn of the Last home, and on his lap is Kitiaria. "Baby, I just want you to know that I love you, I want you, but You can't have me." Kitiaria then adds her two cents. "Yeah you hear that you BEEEPing Blonde bimbo." Then Tanis interupts. "Hold on, Lauranna Baby, you know I don't mean that, I love you, I will always love you, and I want us to be together forever." Kitiaria turns to Tanis, and smacks him with her heavy gaunlet...

(Jerry Stops the Tape.) And Now, here is Tanis.

(Crowd Boos.) BOOOOOOOOOO.

Tanis enters the set, and gives the audiance the finger. "Baby, I meant what I said on the tape."
(Crowd quiets down to hear him.)
(Lauranna) Which part...Cry Havoc, and Let slip the Gnolls of War.
Jeff Grub, Lord Toede

05/30/2001 8:12 AM

Jerry: Hey hey, let's keep it calm here. There's no need to get mad at each other. (turns and looks at the audience) Ok! That said, let's bring out Kitiara!!! Come on out Kit!!!(mixed emotions from audience as Kitiara comes out from behind the stage and walks over to a man in the first row.)Kit: Hi there good lookin'. Where are you from?Laurana: Why you little *bleep**bleep**bleeeeeeeeeeeep* (picks up chair and hurls it at Kit before charging at her)Kit: Bring it on bitch!(Tanis stands, wide eyed) Gur i faron im gar in angwedh.

05/30/2001 10:55 AM

Laurana takes off her boots and throws them at Kit, narrowly missing her head. Kit lunges for Laurana and grabs hold of her hair, tugging at it hard. Laurana returns the compliment, only tugging so hard that the glue that was holding on Kit's wig gives out!
Laurana: I got your hair BEATCH!!!!!! (waves weave in front of her face)
*Steve intervienes*
croud: STEVE STEVE STEVE...........
(little bit more struggling then everything calms down for the moment)
Jerry: Hey Tanis!
Tanis: How you doin Jerry?
Jerry: Tell us what happened Tanis......You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

05/30/2001 12:16 PM

Tanis take a seat and crosses his legs."Well,you see Jerry, Kit is actually a man!You see, i'm actaully bisexual,and my choice is between male and female!I can't decide!" *stupid blond elf giggle that Laurana should have given*
Jerry turns to the crowd."Well,you see,we have another special guest tonight...Yes Tanis, its your old friend Sturm!Crowd, should we bring him in?"
Crowd roars "Yes!Yes!Brign him in!Bring him in!"
Jerry smiles an intigrating host smile."Well,if thats what you want...here's Sturm!"
Sturm walks in,and immediatly starts attacking Kit."How the hell could you do that to him, you slut! just becase you have all the equipment," *in one smooth moves rips off armour and shows whole word her poligon fuzzed boobs* "Doesn't mean he should...chose you over me!" *sob*
Sturm breaks down and starts to cry, and the crowd goes wild.
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

05/30/2001 12:29 PM

Jerry: But Sturm, didn't you also have an affair with Kit?
(Sturm stops blubbering and looks up at Jerry. He then lunges for the host and manages to get a few good punches in before Steve gives him a crack on the jaw and knocks him out cold. Both Jerry and Sturm lay on the floor out cold)
Steve: We'll be back after these messages! (falshes cheesy grin at the camera)

*AFTER THE BREAK..................*

(Jerry is now back on screen, one eye swollen shut , lip cut and a plaster over the top of the other eye)

Jerry: Welcome back! If you've just joined us, we're here with Laurana, who was angry that Tanis was seeing Kit, who it turns out is a man. Tanis then says he's bi sexual, and is confused when out comes Sturm and is upset because Tanis chose Kit over him, even though he himself had an affair with Kit. After that everything goes a bit black.......

(camera pans stage. Everyone looks ashamed except Sturm who is currently ties to his chair and still trying to get a Jerry. Foam is seeping out under his gag.)

Jerry: Now I gotta wrap this up before we go on to our next story. Who'd you wanna be with Tanis?You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

05/30/2001 12:49 PM

Tanis looks up into the camera with a tear in his eye..."I've chosen, Jerry." He says emotionally."I've chosen you!" The half elf stands up and chases Jerry around the studio while the crowd cheers and the credits start to roll."Help me...someone!!" Jerry shouts as he leaves the studio in a flash,Tanis on his, ah hem...tail.
Cut to black as the show ends. ooc: So what you say we do Ricky lake next? On next episode its 'My brother wants to kill me,but I can't walk my own path! Please come back from evil,bro!'
BTW,this thread is so gonna get locked when its discovered.But I am proud to be a part of it while it lasts.
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

05/30/2001 5:19 PM

(OOC: I wanna get in on this. It is hilarious.)

The camera comes back real quick to show where Jerry should be having his final thought but instead it's a Kagonesti Elf with Sturm.

Autumn: Sturm, do you believe Tanis choose the right person?

Sturm: Hell no! I'll send that half-elf bastard to the abyss where he was spawned if he doesn't change his mind real quick.

Camera goes black.Hold your head high cause you never know what you are gonna hit if you don't.

05/30/2001 9:59 PM

Right then Ghost-Ricky Lake it is!!!...................:D

(Title comes up on screen

'My brother wants to kill me,but I can't walk my own path! Please come back from evil,bro!'

And Ricky comes into view)
Croud: YAY!!!!!
Ricky: Hi! Thankyou all for coming! Todays show is about brothers who want to kill each other. Please meet Caramon. He says his twin brother Raistlin wants to kill him so that he can become a god. Is all this correct Caramon?You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

05/31/2001 1:42 AM

(smiles) Don't be so pessimistic Joe. We just might go unnoticed! (james bond theme music playing in the background) Gur i faron im gar in angwedh.

05/31/2001 11:39 AM

(Right...thats a mission impossible [Limp Bizkit playing in the background] )

Caramon nods."Yes Ricky,its true.I love my brother,but he's always trying to kill me,and talking about 'taking his own road' and that I can't walk with him.Well,I just wanna say...Raist,come back!"
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/01/2001 11:47 AM

Ricky: Well, let's bring out your brother raistlin and ask him why he keeps trying to kill you, shall we?
Croud: YAY!!!
(out walks Raistlin, black velvet robes rustling adn hour glass eyes looking daggers at his twin)
Ricky: Hi Raistlin, welcome to the show.
Raistlin: (coughs) Glad to be here Ricky.
Ricky: So, is what your brother syas about you true?
Raistllin: Yes, it is Ricky.
Croud: BOO!!!!!!
Raistlin:Shut up!!! You don't know me!!! (collapses into huge coughing fit. Croud, thinking that they may somehow be killing him by making him angry and making him cough fall into an uneasy silence. Caramon goes over to try and help his brother, but is pushed away. Once the coughing pases, Ricky continues.)
Ricky: Why would you do something like that to your brother?
Raistlin: Well not only is he standing in my way concerning my chosen career path-I aim to become a God you know!, He also dissaproves of my choice of partners!
Ricky: Is this true Caramon?
Ricky:Well, let's bring out your lover! Please welcome to the show......................You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

06/02/2001 8:53 AM

Dalmar runs into the stage with cheers from the crowd.Music begins to sound,and Dalamar starts strip-teasing. The women in the crowd go wild. (Note: this sort of thing actually happens on Ricky lake,my sister is a fan.You don't wanna know what goes on there)
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/02/2001 10:13 AM

The crowd simmers down as Dalamar has a seat beside Raistlin. Dalamar holds Raistlins hand

Ricky: Welcome to the show Dalamar.
Dalamar: Thank you Ricky
Ricky: So, how long has this been going on?
Dalamar: Well, since my Shafali took me to the Tower, there has been chemistry between the two of us...

Sudenly Caramon leaps to his feet

Caramon: I knew it was you, you Mage! Your all against my brother! You made him like this in that damned tower when he took that test!!!
Ricky: Well, we have another guest from your past Caramon, please welcome to the show the one you think made your brother like this.....Par-Salian!

OCC: Sorry for jumping in on this so late, but its just so damned funny I needed to post at least one message in this. :)True honour is bowing to the person whom has bested you.

06/02/2001 10:24 AM

(Nonsense!Welcome one and all!)
Par-Salian enters,to the cheers of the crowd.Ricky: "So, Par-Salian, do you think your responsible for Raistlin turning to evil?"
Par Salian: "Of course not,Ricky! It was all the little bitchs's fault!"
Ricky(suprised at such dirty words): Who is that?
Par Salian: "Takhisis!"
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/03/2001 12:31 AM

Raistlin: Yeah, she's a bitch alright!
Dalamar: Yeah, a real dirty bitch! While, just the other day I spanked her so hard............
Ricky: THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!! Enough with the potty mouth already!!!!
Par-Salin:Ok, but Takhisis is still a bitch!

(Out comes Takhisis)

Takhisis: Hey, who you callin a Bitch you low down dirty good for nothing white robe?
Par-Salin: You, who else?!!
Croud: YAY!!!!
Takhisis: Hey, I object to being called a bitch!
Dalamar: Well, honeychile, you didn't object last night when I put you on your knees and *BLEEPED* you like the bitch you are!
Takhisis: Why you little......(lunges for Dalamar)
Dalamar: See, told you you were a bitch! Only bitches pull hair!!!!
Croud: YAY!!!!
Caramon: You bitch, Takhisis! (draws his sword) How dare you make my brother want to kill me!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! (lunges at Takhisis, but blade becomes all floppy and wobbly)
(Out comes Tika)
Tika: That sword is just like you little soldier, small, tired, and so floppy you couldn't use it to slice into anything!
(The free for all continues)
Croud: YAY!!!!!!!
Ricky: OK, I think now is a god time to say goodbye! Bye!
(Rouge lightning bolt shoots from Takhisis's eyes and hits Ricky, turning her into a pile of ash.)
Croud: YAY!!!!!
(Outro music plays)
Croud: GO RICKY! GO RICKY! GO RICKY! GO RICKY!...............

(Well now then guys-what show shall we do next? All suggestions gratefully recieved!!! :D)You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

06/03/2001 1:26 AM

(I think either "Who want's to be a millionair" or "Survivor")A kender born and raised in Mt. Nevermind? And it didn't blow up the mountain?!?

06/03/2001 7:19 AM

Yes! WHo wnats to be a millionair! I'm the guy who alwyas asks people if they are sure."Very sure?"
A man stands on a stage sourunded by chairs for crowd."Hello everyone,and welcome to, "Who wants to be a millionair!" (music)
"Yes,this game has reached even Krynn,and it should get great ratings here too. I'm Joe,your host.And now we welcome our contestants,who will answer questions and if they succced,win one million steel pieces!"
"The contestants are...what are your names again?" (how about no more then 3-5 contestants.i ask the inane and totally inapropriate questions,you answer.Intrudice yourselves,come on now.)
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/03/2001 1:12 PM

"Hi Joe! My name is Tasselhoff Burrfoot-the ORIGINAL one I might add! I'm very glad to be here Joe, I'm very excited indeed!!! (runs over and gives Joe a hug) Oh, is this your microphone? It's lucky I found it for you, otherwise the TV Bosses would make you pay for that out of your own money wouldn't they?! Speaking of that, when we win the million, do you have to give us that out of your own pocket? If you do you sure must be rich! My Uncle Trapspringer wasn't rich, but he did have the Kender Spoon of Turning, and he passed that down to me when I went on my wanderlust, and that spoon went on to save spring break!"You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

06/03/2001 1:40 PM

(ooc:Hey,don't diss kender!)
Joe smiles confidently at the kender."Yes,well.Tas, please sit down.No,not on my lap, on the other side of this box. Not on the box! There,now stay there."Joe turns to the magic camera.And now,we begin who wants to be a millionair! *dramatic sounds and music*
"ow,for 100 steel pieces. The first question is...Is your Uncle Trapspringer dead or alive? You have all the time you want,and you have the three life savers"(kender buddy,ask the crowd, 0:100)
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/03/2001 1:47 PM

(Tas ponders for a moment) "Well, no one has seen anything of him for ages, so they all asume he's dead, but I think he's still alive!!!! Of course, i could be wrong!! What do you think Joe?"You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

06/03/2001 2:11 PM

Joe scratches his head. "You're telling me that your answer is what I think? This is highly irregular..." He ponders a bit."Well,I guess its ok.I think Trapspringers dead.Am I sure? Yes. And I am...correct!"
*music and cheers*"Congradulations,and now to the 500 steel piece question.How many s's are there in Takhisis's name? No peeking now!"
"Mr Darcy, I am undone... your britches are magnificent...
oh my....
dreadfully undone...."- khirsah,in a moment of surging hormones.

06/04/2001 11:41 AM

"Now, this could be a tough one! Y'see, if your talking about TAKHISIS, then there's 2. If your talking about the word TAKHISIS'S, then there's 3, and if you were a snake or a draconian and you tried to say her name, there'd be a lot more than one s because of the forked tounge and all! Oh, by the way, is this your watch I found? You wanna be careful you don't loose things! You game show hosts are really careless with your stuff aintcha!!!! So, getting back to the subjest, which one do you mean?"You are the Weakest Link......Goodbye! :D

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