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Joe_Ghostbuster
12/02/2000 6:21 AM

Kalligofenicdeorganherotgasrpet the gnome,'Kalligo' for short,looks at his new shop with pleasure.This was a great idea!These 'Devices for Exploding Things' that he had invented were selling like 'New And Improved Hot Cakes(tm)' made by uncle Nospertuderotmjeki!
His customers were almost all humans,which made it a good choice to put the store outside of Mount Nevermind,and--The gnome's thoughts are interupted by a large exploding sound.
"Ohshit!The'NewandimprovedDoorbell'explodedagain!"Kalligo exlaims,and goes to meet his new customer.__________________________________________________

We're sorry,but the planet called 'Earth' is due for destruction.Please evacuate this world in ten seconds...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one.
Thank you for listening,and have a nice death.

Pehlya
12/02/2000 8:35 AM

Pehlya lets out a low whistle, admiring the explosion. She runs toward the shop to see if the owner is planning on creating more explosions, maybe next time they'll be bigger.

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/02/2000 1:42 PM

Kalligo opens the door,already starting his speech."Hello And Welcome To The Exploding Device Shop.10-20 Silver A--"he notices the small elf like person standing in front of him.
"Akender!Ohdamn,thiscouldbeaproblem."Kalligo half closes the door,and speaks out the crack left open."Kender,Do You Have Money?"he asks.

__________________________________________________

We're sorry,but the planet called 'Earth' is due for destruction.Please evacuate this world in ten seconds...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one.
Thank you for listening,and have a nice death.



[Edited by Joe_Ghostbuster at Saturday December 2, 2000 1:45 PM]

Pehlya
12/03/2000 2:47 PM

Pouts at the door, "i have money, if thats what you said!" She nibbles on the end of one of her topknots, "Can you speak slower??"

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/04/2000 2:33 PM

Kalligo opens the door all the way.Kender or not,if she had money she was acceptble."Yes,I Can Speak Slow."he says."Are You Here To Buy Or To Browse?"

__________________________________________________

I've seen better organized creatures than you running around barnyards with their heads cut off.

Pehlya
12/04/2000 4:14 PM

Pehlya skips in before Kalligo can object further,
and smiles broadly at him, "Do you have anything that goes boom-wham-bang!?" She waves her hands in the air to illustrate the question. "'Cause I think it'd be really exciting to have something like that!"

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/06/2000 1:29 AM

"Of Course,Of Course!"says Kalligo.He goes out to the back,and returns holding what seems to be a stick,with a knob on the end.
"Here It Is!Only 20...25 Silver Pieces."
__________________________________________________

I've seen better organized creatures than you running around barnyards with their heads cut off.

Pehlya
12/06/2000 2:44 PM

"Ooooo," her eyes widen as she hands him the 25 silver and eargerly grabs the device. "I thought you said 10 to 20, oh nevermind!" She shrugs it off and begins to bang the knob on the ground. "So how's this contraption work??"

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/07/2000 6:41 AM

Kalligo rushes to the kender and stops her banging the Device on the floor."nonononononono!Aim The Tube,Then Press The Button."



__________________________________________________

I've seen better organized creatures than you running around barnyards with their heads cut off.

Pehlya
12/07/2000 2:29 PM

"ooooo, okay!", she giggles then aims the tube at the ceiling. "Like this?" She quickly presses the button and waits for the explosive results.

Katyr
12/08/2000 8:22 PM

Katyr sighs as she leans back against the cool outer wall of the inn. she starts to clean some dried hobgoblin blood from her dagger when she suddenly hears a loud explosion coming from the gnomes shop. feeling bored and in need of some excitement, the female mercenary heads towards the shop.

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/12/2000 5:29 AM

Kalligo stares at the hole in his ceiling and sighs.He should really tell people about the shooting gallery.
He looks at the kender and opens his mouth to tell her about it,when the door opens.Imediatly the gnome is ready with his opening speech.
"Hello And Welcome To The Exploding Device Shop.10-20 Silver A Peice!After You Buy,Try It Out In Our Shooting Gallery!"he takes a deep breath.He should really take those "Human Speaking" lessons offered at M. Nevermind.__________________________________________________

I've seen better organized creatures than you running around barnyards with their heads cut off.

Katyr
12/12/2000 4:27 PM

Katyr nods to the gnome in response, then her eyes drift upwards to the gaping hole in the ceiling. she starts to laugh.

"you made the device that made that explosion?"

....her mind wandered to fantasies of the battlefield, she would be general and every one of her men would be armed with these devices....

"i thought gnomes inventions never worked properly"

she looks around the shop, or whats left of it.

"so, what else do you sell here?"

The_Hooded_One
12/14/2000 1:46 AM

*Claw the sivak walks into the gnomish store and approaches the shopkeeper.*

"I'm looking for a device which will turn me into an expert juggler." Claw chuckles and strikes an heroic pose. "I plan to beat my irritable quest colleague in a juggling duel!"


Dragon Peak
Where F**K Lives
Minus the *'s

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/16/2000 4:48 PM

Kalligo nods to Katyr."Yes.I Make These Things.Garunteed To Kill Your Enemy In A Shot,Or Your Money Back!"
He turns to the new customer."Why Hello!Juggling Contraption You Say?I Think I have One,Grandad Jokeernsurosnyuenmsawuior's 'Handy Juggling Teaching Thingy'(tm), Only..."the gnome looks the draconion over,noticing his sword and full pouch."30 Silver Peices."


__________________________________________________

I've seen better organized creatures than you running around barnyards with their heads cut off.

Pehlya
12/16/2000 9:24 PM

"Oops..." She bites her lip while staring at the hole in the ceiling. "I really didn't mean to! Sorry!" She Notices that Kalligo is busy with others so she wanders off, handling more items.

The_Hooded_One
12/17/2000 1:11 AM

"Thirty silvers!" Claw spits and unsheathes his sword. Then remembers the need for the juggling device. "Alright gnome. You get your money." Claw says bitterly and chucks a handful of silvers onto the counter. "So what do one of these devices look like precisely?"

Dragon Peak
Where F**K Lives
Minus the *'s

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/18/2000 1:52 PM

Kalligo shivers.He would have gone lower if that draconion had been more threatening."Wait Here."he says to Claw.The gnome walks into the back.
A few minutes later he returns,holding a strange thing,a cube with two small hands attached to it."Here It Is!"he says."You Put Your Hands Over The Plastic Hands,And Then Press.It Juggles For You,Moving Your Arms."__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

Katyr
12/19/2000 9:17 PM

Katyr can't believe what she is hearing "Juggling! that's as ridiculous as magic! the only way to deal with anybody is with the sword, or another weapon that does damage. you should buy one of those exploding devices and blow the guy up!"

she notices the little female kender handling the other merchandise "uh, Kalligo, nothing else in this shop explodes does it?" she says pointing to Pehlya.

The_Thorn
12/20/2000 7:01 AM

The door to the shop opens but noone is there. A quick movement and an ogre steps out from behind the door. Everyone in the shop can see that he has no right hand. Grog is wearing a brass helmet, his snarled and unkept red hair spilling out from underneath. His light green skin is ugly, but surprisingly clean for an ogre. He appears to be wearing hide armor, with a bastart sword strapped to his right hip. Spying Kalligo, a gnome, Grog takes a minute to think. Deciding that the gnome is the one who owns the store, the ogre shambles over to him.

"Can gnome help fix Grog?" asks the ogre, lifting his right arm with no hand.

The_Hooded_One
12/21/2000 12:19 AM

*Claw turns the woman and nods.*

"Yes. A sword is the final justice. In this case however, I would rather toy with the prey before killing it." Claw says and hooks himself up to the juggling machine. Suddenly Claw is juggling 15 objects at once. "Wahoo Gnome! It didn't blow up."

*Times passes... the juggling machine continues to work. Surprisingly it doesn't blow up.*

Dragon Peak
Where F**K Lives
Minus the *'s

saperdeflap
12/21/2000 5:31 AM

"Ay maties, I'm lookin' for a work of wonder! A way to neve' get lost on da high seas again! I believe it is called a compass?!
Do any of ya landlobbers have such a thing lyin' around, have ya?"

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/22/2000 7:45 AM

Kalligo looks indigant at Kaytr's suggestion."OF COurse Not!We Are Garunteed."he stresses this last as if it is all important,which to a gnome,it is.The Ogre enters.Kalligo looks up,and up,and up at him."Fix You?You Mean The Arm?"
He up a little more."That Depends.You Have Money?"__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

The_Thorn
12/22/2000 4:05 PM

"Grog have gold. You make Grog new hand?" asks the ogre, a pained look on his face.

Katyr
12/22/2000 9:17 PM

Noticing an opportunity to make some easy money, Katyr puts on one of her most charming smiles and saunters over to Grog.

"I tell you what Grog, for that gold you have I'll train you to fight with your left hand. I guarantee that after a few hours training you will be wielding weapons as, if not more, effectively than with your old right hand."

She smiles at him waiting for his response.

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/24/2000 7:26 AM

"Build,A New Hand..."Kalligo sinks in the possibltys."I'll Do It!"
"now,whichisbetter,steelorironormaybeevenplatinum?no,steelisbest.maybeevenmakeattachablereplacments..."he starts mumbling to himself.
"Watch The Kender!"he says to his customers,before entering the back for indefinite amount of time.
__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

Katyr
12/24/2000 3:49 PM

Seeing that Grog is more interested in having a whole new hand built, than being one of the few privaliged to train with her, Katyr turns to watch Pehlya.

"Don't touch that!!" she screams too late. Pehlya fiddles with the lid of a jar and is suddenly covered head to foot in a pink gooey substance. all that can be seen in the horrible mess is two miserable kender eyes.

She calls towards the back room of the shop.
"Uh...Kalligo? we have a slight situation out here in the shop..."

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/28/2000 7:06 AM

"whatwhatwhatwhat??"mutters Kalligo as he returns to the front of the shop.He looks at Pehlya with gloomy eyes."Ohgreat,thenewandimprovedsuperglue!Pour That,"he says,pointing at a solvent on one of the tables,"On Her.And You Are Paying For it!"he says to the kender.

__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

The_Thorn
12/28/2000 1:11 PM

Grog looks at Kender also. He thought they were funny, but he still wanted a new hand.

Joe_Ghostbuster
12/28/2000 3:45 PM

Kalligo shakes his head in wonder at the kender.He then looks at Grog and remembers something.
"Grog,You Said You Have Gold.Gold Is Worthless.Do You Have Steel?"

__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

Pehlya
12/29/2000 5:32 PM

"Wow!" She smiles broadly, "I have never ever been covered in pink gooey stuff! Can i get covered in orange next time?"
She blinks, "Oh! You have no hand!" Points to Grog's arm , "Have you had that looked at? Does it hurt? Does it-?" she goes on with many more pointless questions.

Katyr
12/30/2000 2:42 AM

"Hold still a minute!" Katyr grabs the young Pehlya and tries to cover her in the solvent. the pink glue starts to dissolve until there is nothing left but a slightly damp looking kender.

"There!" Katyr claims triumphantly "that seems to have done the trick". she starts to let go of the kender but her hand is stuck fast to Pehlya's arm.
"Oh great, I'm stuck to a Kender!, Kalligo get me some more of that solvent will you?, this bottles empty."

Katyr looks down at Pehlya as she waits for Kalligo to get more solvent. the kender looks back with a huge grin like this is the best thing that could have happened to her.

Joe_Ghostbuster
01/06/2001 4:46 AM

"Stupidmercenarys,stupidkenderwhatdidIdotodeservethis..."mumbles Kalligo to himelf.He gets another bottle of solvent and pours it on Katyr and Pehlya,releasing both.
Enough was enough."Now Buy,Or Leave."the gnome firmly says to the kender and the lady mercenary."But First,10 Silver For The SuperGlue And Solvents."

__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

The_Thorn
01/09/2001 7:22 AM

Grog opens his moneypouch revealing it to Kalligo. There were many steel pieces in the pouch but to Grog all the money was the same, just a different color. Grog swiftly plucks one steel out of the pouch while still holding it in the same hand. "Grog have dark gold," says the ogre. "This work?" he questions.

Joe_Ghostbuster
01/11/2001 8:39 AM

Kalligo stares at the steel with greed."Yes Indeed!This Suffices.But It Will Take Time To Build The Arm."
With this reassurance,he returns to stare at the kender,holding out his hand.

__________________________________________________

'Cry Havoc!And let slip the dogs of war.'
Shakespeare,Julius Caesar

The_Thorn
01/13/2001 4:27 PM

"How long?" grumbles the ogre. "Couple of days?"

Grog drops the sack in Kalligo's hands. "Take what needed," states the simpleton, "I be at local tavern. Find when ready?"

The_Thorn
01/16/2001 6:44 PM

Grog turns and heads for the door. As he moves to leave he sees the kender female with a little pink residue from the glue on her. Grog stops and blinks, then laughs. He continues to laugh harder and harder, and manages to gasp out the words "funny little person" in between the laughter.

After several moments, the ogre continues for the door.

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