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raikoh
05/29/2007 9:10 PM

im thinking of an rpg that takes place at hell. the story is after widespread use of portal technologies people started to look back to the past and look for places that are spoken in old history books. after many tries few attempts were successfull. however now a rogue group of portal scientists have claimed to find a portal to hell. now the united universal govment or UGG wants to see if it is true and if it is to capture the scientist and stop their portals to hell for fear of what may happen if the hellspawn were unleashed. however a few terrorist cells want to use this as a threat to gain wealth.

you can be either a government agent trying to stop the scientists or a terrorist member that wants to use their discovery to control the world. you can be one of three races. one human of course. another is jakara. they are more of a reptilian species that has been found on plants on the out rim of the empire. most of the jakara are against the UGG and are terrorist but some have been great government agents. they are alot faster then humans but cant take as much damage and are used mainly for scouts. then there is the crature. they are alot bigger than humans and take much more damage but are slow due to their size. they are humaniod but look like a huge orc with four arms. i'll come up with other elements later.

so any intrests or comments???

nanuk
05/30/2007 4:58 AM

You asked for comments..

If you're going to try to run an RP please try to take more care with your spelling- capital letters and inverted commas (i.e. I'm, not im) would be good too.

It looks sloppy.

If I, as a prospective player, saw that post I'd be immediately turned off- it wouldn't give me confidence in your writing skills, and I'm sure other people would feel the same way.

Because it's an interesting idea it would be a pity if something that could be fixed so easily turned off good potential players: you could have amazing ideas but I wouldn't be willing to struggle through the post to read them, or trust that you would be able to communicate them.

You're not expected to be English majors but something as simple as downloading a spellchecker/dictionary can make a huge difference- I use Firefox and downloaded a dictionary plug in that automatically underlines in red any errors while I'm typing a post. It's very handy.


Secondly, regarding your actual idea, it's interesting but you need to give a little more information because of some of the things you mentioned i.e. space travel (I'm assuming if other planets can be accessed/other races be present), the UGG etc. Is this set in an Earth of the future, an alternate Earth, or a completely different planet entirely?

Obviously you'll work out more details if you get interest but that kind of thing can affect people's decisions re character choices etc.

Darthwedge
05/30/2007 12:29 PM

I agree with Nanuk here. The story is interesting but your post is unorganized, not capitalized, and doesn't really flow.

raikoh
05/30/2007 7:48 PM

It's going to be set in different kinds of planets and or space stations. There might be other races that will be acessed but i'll have to think of them yet. It's definitly in the future and you might be on earth for a little while but will be on other planets ( and of course hell ) more often then earth. in the story the scientists will be spread out so one UGG agent might be searching for one scientist while a terrorist might be on the other side of the system ( or galaxy ) looking for another, of course there will be tons of weapons but they wont all be some kind of laser. It's going to be set in a place of time where laser technology is still not fully developed so mainly bullets will be your choice of ammo. but some prototype lasers can be used. but not alot.

as for character creation im thinking of making it something like this.

name:
race: ( human, jakara, cratyre ) oh whoops i mispelled cratyre in the above post oh well.
side: ( terrorist or UGG agent )
class: ( sniper, medic, demolition, etc. )
description:
weapons: ( a primary, secondary, and some form of pistol or other small weapon. )
equipment: ( like med kits, ammo packs, etc. )
bio: if any

uhh lets see what else. ahh for space travel you have two options: spaceships or portals.

Spaceships are slower to get to the target planet/platform but can be used to disguise who your characters are. ex. You and a squad of three men are put on a ship bound for a platform that contains one of the scientists.The ship is a resupply ship that includes some new recruits in security and workers. You could act as one of the new members in security and infiltrate the platform till you find the scientist or find the portal he hid in.

potals are more immidiate and a little more noticeable. it is very obvious when a rift appears unscheduled. these are more used as a quick way to go from planet to planet or platform to platform. however portals also take about ten minutes to completely open on both sides so the other side gets plenty of warning. so dont use portals when sending in covert ops when the other side has nothing scheduled for awhile. they will have soldiers waiting.

raikoh
06/03/2007 7:50 PM

so is anyone intrested? if not i'll put this away for awhile. Anyone wish to comment too?

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