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Silvermagess
04/30/2002 6:30 AM

(OOC: If anyone has been looking at the thread "Things We will never See in DL," then you proably know about a particular series of post I did called Sleeping Cutie. Basically it took the tale of Sleeping Beauty, gave it a humorous twist, and then a Krynnish twist. It was suggested that I start a thread for that series.

Basically, this thread is meant to be funny.

I have no specific requirements for the characters except that they have some very tenous relationship to some kind of fairy tale. That means they proably shouldn't be characters you have had in a million other posts.

If you want a general idea of what you should expect, look under "Things we will never see in DL." I hope to also use this thread to follow up on Asani and Vira anyways.)

Asani had been looking through the want ads for hours. He needed to get enough money to give Vira the wedding she wanted. Or at least a nice wedding. Or at least a kind of wedding.

Its the least she deserves, being married to someone as ugly as I am.

It was something that irked him to no end. He was an incredibly disfigured Aurak draconian, she a beautiful elf princess whose only abnormal feature was her abnormal long pointed ears.

Of course she made up for it by being arrogant and a bimbo among other things. But, for some reason he only fell in love with her more everyday. Which was why he was planning on trying to find a nice engagment ring. He had to keep her interest. There were a million guys a lot more attractive then he was. So it needed to be the biggest rock he could afford.

~In the other room~

Vira was packing some things. She hated doing work of any kind, but she didn't want Asani to dump her for being useless.

I am not a total idiot! I just act like one! I know he is saving up for a wedding. We could just use my credit card. But, no! He has to do it on his own!

She sighed in an effort to let the anger out. She had told Asani a million times that she didn't need a wedding. But, he insisted on trying to give her the wedding of her dreams. This from a guy who had no idea how to be romantic.

When she had first met Asani she had thought he was ugly and freakish. But, thankfully she had decided to see past appearances for once and had been rewarded with a boyfriend who was smart, caring and really cool. The only problem was, that he was, well, a little evil.

"He is still a mercenary for hire. And I doubt he learned how to kill a man five times before he falls to the ground in a temple of Paladine."

She had by now finished packing. Grabbing the luggage she went to the other room. Asani was still looking for his next job. She wanted to ask him to come down with her to check out as she was nervous about going down to talk to the rather scary innkeeper by herself.

What a minute! Your're a big girl Vira, nows your chance to prove it!
With that she tromped down to the tavern part of the inn. Unfortunatly there appeared to be a commotion of some sort down there.

(OOC: For who ever posts next, what the commotion is, is up to you.)


"There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

[Edited by Silvermagess on Tuesday, April 30, 2002 6:34 AM]

Vortex21
04/30/2002 3:05 PM

"C'mon i mean it i am paladin, yelled a older man a little over wait. What would you mortals know. It's not like you ever meet me before"!

"Shut up yelled a barbarein yer here every week! So SHUT UP"!

"Do you want me to curse you, you over grown kender Shrieked the chubby man! I could turn you to a duck even ask that lady over there he said to Vira!

Don't say you dont think im paladin too, he also said to Vira! Well?
When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

[Edited by Vortex21 on Tuesday, April 30, 2002 3:06 PM]

Silvermagess
05/01/2002 5:35 AM

"Uh, of course you are! I mean the uh, noble eye, the proud stance...how could anyone not see you for what you are?" Vira did know how to suck up at times.

Asani trumped down the stairs at that moment, looking annoyed. The expression on his face was that he had found no work.

He looked at the scene and looked at the old man. "Vira, sweety, I think you need glasses. That man can be a paladine. He is not scary enough. Paladines are always loaded down in armor and weapons.

I should know, I always was sent in to well, knock them off. But, blasted if I ever found a way to get through that armor of theirs."
"There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

Vortex21
05/01/2002 1:22 PM

The chubby man looked at the draconian, "Why don't you look fermillar. "Ahhh i rember when i was a, cough, i mean took the form of a solamnic kight we had a fight and I cut your eye! Woops probally shouldnt of said that.When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

[Edited by Vortex21 on Wednesday, May 1, 2002 1:24 PM]

Silvermagess
05/01/2002 8:05 PM

Vira got a look in her eyes that said, "Uh, oh, now you've done it."

Asani put his hand up to his eye felt the small nick there. Now most guys in Asani's line of work got used to scars.

But, having been so disfigured from the moment he was born, Asani hated scars. Each scar he got had been paid for with the blood of the one so stupid as to scar him.

"Now that I recall, I think you were one of the ones that got away. Now before I make you suffer unbearble pain, could you tell me who you are? You know, just so I can have a name to go with the face." Asani's voice was cool and even, but with a dangerous edge.

"There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

Vortex21
05/02/2002 1:28 PM

"errr ummmm the names Pug but my freinds call me puggy, well at least they would if i had any. Well now that i think about it a friends supposed to be nice to someboddy sooo. Pug looked in the draconians red anger rising eyes. S,s,so like i was saying ya look like the workin type, How would you like a job! I was lookin for a man of your strength. If you take this job a not kill me you'll get 500 steel peices. Now who can dicline that? I know i can't!When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

Silvermagess
05/02/2002 6:04 PM

Asani practically got dollar signs in his eyes.

"Uh, sure my friend! All is forgiven! I'll do anything you ask!" Asani was excited.

I can finally get that ring. Then all I need is to save up for the wedding ring, and a nice dress for Vira and I am all set.

"Uh, sir," said Vira, looking a little worried, "this job better not be something icky. I don't want to ruin my designer shoes after all.""There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

Vortex21
05/03/2002 11:48 AM

(OOC: lol lokes like a two person thread!)

Pug though franticly, He knew there was a job with that pay but what was it! Pug looked into the draconians eyes. Now he remembered. "Oh crap he though, It was a solamnic scouting mission! "Well sir there has to be one reguirment for the job" he said to the draconian, You have to join the soamnic kights. Wait don't jump to any acusations! You see they have this problem with a cirtain red dragon and you see they need recruits. Pug eyes filled with fear, Don't worry they will take anyone you see, and if you do a good job you can take as much trasures you can carry from the dragons chamber! Oh and also the dragons only errr only 20 hun- I mean 20 ft tall! So what do ya say?!When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

Silvermagess
05/03/2002 1:26 PM

(OOC: Yeah, I know. I would have thought someone else would have joined. Oh, well. I am having fun right now anyways.)

Asani muttered, "Your crazy. Nuts. Nobody home there."

"Uh, sir while my Asani could surely take on anything those knights could throw at him, what makes you so sure they would take just anyone?" Vira seemed a little unbelieving.

Vira leaned next to Pug and whispered, "Besides, as much as I love him, he is a little, well, evil."

Asani gave Vira a dirty look because he knew she was saying something about him. Proably something along the lines of him being evil.

Looking at Pug he said, "And just what interest do you have in all this? Besides keeping me from killing you that is?"

"There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

Vortex21
05/05/2002 5:53 AM

Pug's eyes semmed to glow as he relized that he has the advantage. "I don't understand what you mean but anyhow as paladin I also sighned up for the missioon. Pug's eyes started to shine as he rembered the draconians strength. Pug was in deep though if i can make that draconian go and fight the dragon i can take it's treasures while it tears him up! Sir you see it's not a very challenging fight but it's worth while! Pug winked so what do ya say, Ya can become richer than an elf lord!When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

Silvermagess
05/05/2002 2:04 PM

Before Asani could make a reply Vira grabbed him by the elbow. "Yeah, he'll do it!"

"But, but Vira this guy's crazy!" Asani knew his girlfriend was prone to flights of fancy but this was silly. Or was it...

It is a lot of money. Besides. You did slay a dragon once before. If getting it so worked up it gives itself a heart attack is called slaying...

Wait, who says I have to actually kill it. I am sure if I just play along with this thing I can find plenty of ways to make money before I have to kill the dragon. Since I am an Aurak, I can change shape easy. I mean, the only complication will be Vira.

But, I can work out the details later.

Grinning, he said, "Okay. Sure, I'll do it. Just tell me how I get started.""There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

Vortex21
05/06/2002 3:41 PM

Pug being an experinced lyer knew what he had to do," All right we'll leave first thing toomorow morning". "Make sure you equip yourself with the finest armor. Just then Pug reached into his pocket and pulled out 20 platinum peices, then he grabed a few stell peices. Pug winked, this should do ehh? We will meat at the front gates toomorow at 12:00 for now i have to go rob, cough i mean buy more supplies for toomorow.When one looses their will to live they
die not phisicly but in spirit
-Michael Brennan

Silvermagess
05/07/2002 5:49 AM

Watching Pug go, Asani couldn't help but grin in satifaction.

The game is on. I know a con man when I see one. But, I will play along. For now.

Vira grabbed him by the arm. "Come on silly. We have to go get your armor."

He grimaced. He had never worn armor. He had never needed it and had never had any desire for it. Plus it looked like too much of a hassle.

And most armor was not built with the idea that the wearer was almost seven feet and had a tail.

Still, he might as well humor the 'employer.' The trick would be to find some comfortable, good quality, yet, cheap armor. This way he would have plenty of money left over. And, if he survived this fiasco and still hated armor, he could sell it.

There was one cog in this plan. Vira. She was already planning on getting him full plate mail. He couldn't let her do that. He didn't care how well made it was, no draconian had ever or would ever wear full plate mail. The way their bodies were shaped simply made it unpracticle. He need something that left him room to manuever around. He knew he could proably find it, but first he needed to distract her.

"Vira, look over there. Isn't that the clothing store you like." As if on cue her eyes lit up.

Suddenly she looked very sad. "But, honey, I have to help you..."

"Listen sweetie, I can do this myself, you go and have a fun time clothes shoping." Asani smirked.

She hugged him and ran off. He sighed in relief. The things I do for love.

~an hour later~

He had finally found what he had been looking for. He had gotten some Scale Mail. Nice, simple and it only covered his torso. He had also gotten some bracers for his arms and greves for his legs. He refused to get a helm though. He was already asking for trouble in his magic casting with all the armor he already had.

He had gotten to the store Vira was at. He marched in and had to drag her out. For once though she had only brought one dress.

She looked at what he got. He stood there, prepared for her to say something bad.

"Wow, I am suprised you could get all that great stuff with just that much money."

Phew, lucky for me her life of greed has left her out of touch with reality.

He took her out to eat with the rest of the money and they went back to the inn until tommorrow."There is no greater joy than to be reborn with every heartbeat." Belldandy.

"I am the Keeper of the Talismans. I am the apocalypse of which legends speak. And I am for once and for all your executioner." Shendu.

[Edited by Silvermagess on Tuesday, May 7, 2002 5:53 AM]

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