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JawHun
03/12/2005 9:09 PM

Carlon:
This is the name of the planet this story is set on. In relation to Earth, it's technology is rival to early middle ages.

Nephla:
To the North is a forested, mountainous area called Nephla. The Nephlians believe themselves to have "transcended" humanity, and are now superhuman beings. They believe themselves superhuman beings, but it has yet to be proven. Their nation is an Oligarchy/Facist nation. The belief of being superior is more a way to increase morale and nationalism. Their leader is the religious figurehead. Their culture is more or less feudal (King, peasants, and everything in between). They allow their conquered to live in the territory as long as they convert. (To fully convert one must give up their previous culture). Their training system is superb, which makes their soldiers very strong. Even new soldiers, fresh from training, have nearly the skill of seasoned veterans. Their economy is based on the aquisition of new territory, and because they have been very sucessful in that field, they have a strong economy. Their entire system is military, so it is hardly utopian. Not taking into account the happiness of the people, it is a perfect society; it is like a machine. They recently discovered gunpowder, but it is extremely hard to make, and is mostly used as dynamite. They DO NOT have guns. They also have discovered how to make iron into steel, although that, too, takes much time and money, so it is used mostly for the upper-class military figureheads. Nephlians fear magic, as they are as vulnerable as anyone else to it. There is also a part of their scripture that warns that magic will be their downfall. Thus, their religion outlaws it, and in every territory they conquer, they eliminate all magic. They control about 1/6th of the planet's land.

Reth:
The next major country would be Reth, a country to the far South, made up mostly of desert and plainsland. Their government is very similar to that of the Native Americans, set up with multiple tribes who sometimes wage war against eachother. This is their major weakness; they aren't a unified people. They do have a good army, but it lies not in their technology, but in the skill their warriors posess. Once again, the Nephlians will be a threat, but have yet to attack the Rethians. They have magic, but not in the conventional sense of the term. They mostly use fire conjuring. Their people are very religious. Many aspects of society are affected by their religion, including their everyday life and even their habits. Most of their beliefs stem in the sayings of a Rethian prophet, Gaius. They believe a holy city to exist somewhere, called Kirnam. Their skin is a dark tan, and their hair also dark brown. The most distinguishing aspects of Rethians would definitely be their eyes, which are a bright orange.

Cristam (I might not put this in, because it seems so cliche):
The Eastern country, past the Xindaar mountains. Their government is a feudal system. Most of the cities are separated and secluded. This is a very small country, never at war because of it's isolation in the mountains. It is well known for it's mysterious green forests. This is a land of traditional magic, warlocks, witches, etc. (By traditional I mean the conventional, nearly stereotypical type of magic most of us are used to). Some even believe there are elves in the forests.

Here's my character as of now:

Name: Nihaj Amarni
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Orange
Skin: Dark Tan
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 168 lbs
Appearance: Medium length hair. Muscular, but slender; agile and strong. Always wears headband. Strong brow ridge. Nothing special.

History: Born to humble backgrounds, and has lived his whole life in his village.

I would like it if there were no more than 3 other people participating. It would also be nice if participants would put character profiles here (example above), and waiting for permission before posting.

[Edited by JawHun on Monday, March 21, 2005 9:03 PM]

Black_Plague
03/12/2005 9:39 PM

uuh, you may want to give the story a little kick in the butt. its hard to know where you want the story to go if you dont give a hint, just a prophecy. has that happened yet? or is it leading up to that?

by it i mean this thread, and by that, I mean the Nephlians killing everything.

JawHun
03/13/2005 1:05 PM

I suppose I'll expand on the story, which I was (more or less) planning to do. I don't really have a direction I want the story to go in, I was hoping that would somewhat figure itself out. Also, I was trying to make a paralell with the prophecies and what is happening in the story. (A prophecy generally means it hasn't happened yet, but it will happen. So, to answer your question, Yes, it is leading up to that. Or something like that.)

Throughout this thread I plan to put in prophecies, sayings, etc. to help guide the storyline (if I feel like it).

Black_Plague
03/13/2005 6:02 PM

What do you want for charachter bios, this is interesting.

JawHun
03/13/2005 8:16 PM

I would like to see which side your character is on, if any (Nephla vs. Reth vs. Neutral vs. some other country on Carlon). Other than that, just a good ol' Name, Age, Gender, etc. would work fine. If noone decides to join I might as well just continue writing on my own. For some reason I really like this idea.

Black_Plague
03/13/2005 8:33 PM

so like

Name
race
age
appearance
weapons
magic
history
?

JawHun
03/13/2005 8:56 PM

Name
Age
Gender
Eyes
Hair
Skin
Body Type
Nationality
-(Rethian, Nephlian, other)
General Description
-Personality
-Special Skills
-Personal History

I am trying to keep out of too much magic, limited to Rethians (who embrace magic), elves (who have yet to appear in this story), and those who train specifically in the art of magic (regardless of background). I don't want just anyone to go around using magic, at least not real magic. Maybe parolor tricks.

I also don't want anything too extravicant, I want to keep this as a sortof realistic thing in the realm of realistic.

Don't worry, if you just wait a while, I'm gonna go pretty crazy with the magic. It will be more Aboriginal or Native American magic for the Rethians, and more conventional, warlock/wizard magic with a new country I brought in (Bump, I re-edited the first post).

Although I may rethink the whole warlock idea, because this seems like it is working just fine without the stereotypical idea of magic in stories. I like it this way. We'll see how it turns out, eh?

[Edited by JawHun on Sunday, March 13, 2005 9:54 PM]

Black_Plague
03/15/2005 8:03 PM

Name: Seth
Age: Unknown
Gender: Male
Eyes: Prone to turning piss yellow from their faded grey
Hair: Long and white
Skin: Tan, almost latino
Body Type: Well built, but not like a steroid frek
Nationality: Nephlian (those are the tech guys right?)
-(Rethian, Nephlian, other)
General Description: Seth wears a strange black robe that gives surprising mobility and flows like crazy. He weilds a long metal sword of light make. He is a quiet and still undeveloped magic talent. He can make his eyes flash and juggle balls of yellow light, thats it.
-Personality: Shoot first, ask questions later
-Special Skills: blade art- Seths friggin lethal with any edged weapon at about twenty paces
-Personal History: Seth is relatively young and still has yet to form his mercennary band, let alone come to the tall trees. He still has a confidence overload and tends to bite off more than he can chew

Gnome
03/16/2005 10:21 AM

An inquisition (constructive criticism):



Carlon:
This is the name of the planet this story is set on. In relation to Earth, it's technology is rival to early middle ages.

OK, so it is in early medieval times...



Nephla:
To the North is a forested, mountainous area called Nephla. The Nephlians believe themselves to have "transcended" humanity, and are now superhuman beings. They are extremely powerful warriors. They have an undefeated army. They believe in science, and shun anything to do with magic. They believe magic to be the work of pure evil. They control about 1/6th of the planet's land. They are extremely powerful.


So these Nephlians are superhuman beings? In what ways-Strength? Intellect?

How is their culture? Are they all powerful warriors?

What is their political system. Is their economy rising? Do they have a utopian society?

If they have an undefeated army, what stops them from taking over the world? They believe in Science, but the technology of the world is rival to the early middle ages. Does this mean that they are beyond the technology of the rest of the world? If so, what type of Tech are we talking about? Modern? Singularity? Quantam based?

Do they have religion? If so, how influential is it in society?

Why do they believe magic to be the work of pure evil? Religious reasons? Failure to present a scientific case over the ways of magic? Are the Nephlians vulnerable to magic?


Reth:
The next major country would be Reth, a country to the far South, made up mostly of desert and plainsland. Their people are very religious. Many aspects of society are affected by their religion. Most of their beliefs stem in the sayings of a Rethian prophet, Gaius. They believe a holy city to exist somewhere, called Kirnam. Their skin is a dark tan, and their hair also dark brown. The most distinguishing aspects of Rethians would definitely be their eyes, which are a bright orange.


Again, how is their government set up? Caste system, democracy, monarchy? Economic situation? Barter system?

What prevents Reth from being overrun by the Nephlians? Do they have access to magic? If so, what are the limits to the power of magic?

And again, what is the culture like for the Rethians?

Does their religion affect their everyday life? Do priests gain any abilities through this religion? Is there only one god, or many, or does the religion revolve around natural elements or ancestor worship?



Cristam (I might not put this in, because it seems so cliche):
The Eastern country, past the Xindaar mountains. This is a very small country, never at war because of it's isolation in the mountains. It is well known for it's mysterious green forests. This is a land of traditional magic, warlocks, witches, etc. Some even believe there are elves in the forests, but there is little evidence to support this theory.


If this is used:

Again, what is the limit of power on this traditional magic?

Do warlocks, witches, and anything else within this land get along together? Do they form a society? Do these people prefer solitary, secluded areas for themselves?

--

This all may seem negative, but it is for the better of RP's in general. The more fleshed out they are, the better they become.

Remember, this was [I]constructive[/I] criticism.

JawHun
03/16/2005 6:09 PM

Thank you Gnome, or as I will refer to you for no apparent reason, "Doctor Constructo."

I will work down the same way you did.

Carlon:
Medieval. Yes.

Nephla:
Oligarchy/Facist nation. They believe themselves superhuman beings, but it has yet to be proven. The belief of being superior is more a way to increase morale and nationalism. Their leader is the religious figurehead. Their culture is more or less feudal (King, peasants, and everything in between). They allow their conquered to live in the territory as long as they convert. To fully convert one must give up all of their previous cultures. Their training system is superb, which makes their soldiers very strong. Even new soldiers, fresh from training nearly rival the seasoned veterans. Their economy is very much based on the aquisition of new territory, and thus, they have a strong economy. Their entire system is military, so it is hardly utopian. Ignoring the happiness of the people, it is a perfect society; it is like a machine.

If they have an undefeated army, what stops them from taking over the world?

Who says that they aren't doing it now? This comment makes me wonder if you even read what happened in the RP section. Sort of obvious, I would think. Yes, they have superior technology, but that is hardly futuristic in any way. They recently discovered gunpowder, but it is extremely hard to make, and is mostly used as dynamite. They DO NOT have guns. They also have discovered how to make iron into steel, although that, too, takes much time and money, so it is used mostly for the upper-class military figureheads. As I adressed earlier, they have a religion. I plan to elaborate later, in the RP.

Now the magic thing will become important, as it will be one of the major differences between Rethians and Nephlians. Yes, Nephlians fear magic, as they are as vulnerable as anyone else to it. There is also a part of their scripture that warns that magic will be their downfall.Thus, their religion outlaws it, and in every territory they conquer, they eliminate all magic.

Reth:
Their government is very similar to that of the Native Americans, set up with multiple tribes who sometimes wage war against eachother. This is their major weakness; they aren't a unified people. They do have a good army, but it lies not in their technology, but in the skill their warriors posess. Once again, the Nephlians will be a threat, but have yet to attack the Rethians. They have magic, but not in the conventional sense of the term. They mostly use fire conjuring.

Does their religion affect their everyday life?

Yes. I said so in the original description. "Many aspects of society are affected by their religion." There are no priests, there is only one god, ("The Great One") and their religion is based on ancestral beliefs.

Cristam:
I haven't put much thought into this yet. It won't appear until later in the story, if at all.
By traditional magic, I mean the conventional idea of magic that most people have, including magical creatures (elves, whatever). Yes, it is a very secluded society, but there is one nonetheless. The government is also feudal.

I wouldn't say that was criticism as much as inquisition, Doctor Constructo. Thanks, because those questions may have been on other people's minds.

I would also suggest reading the RP itself before asking questions.

Bounce; first post re-edited with new information.

[Edited by JawHun on Thursday, March 17, 2005 1:24 AM]

Kolath
03/18/2005 3:26 PM

are you still taking new people on if os I would be more then will to take whatever place you needed me to

JawHun
03/18/2005 6:55 PM

Yes, I definitely welcome more people.
Before you start, I would like to see your character (name, age, etc.). If you look at the first post, I provided an example.

[Edited by JawHun on Monday, March 21, 2005 9:04 PM]

Kolath
03/22/2005 1:17 PM

Name: Rayson
Age: 24
Gender: male
Eyes: Orange
Hair: brown
Skin: lightly taned
Body Type: slim but strong
Nationality: Rethian
General Description:
-Personality: withdrawn, doesn't make friends easily
-Special Skills: archery specalist, Hrose whisperer
-Personal History: grew up in th plains his family having been killed when he was young he learned the ways of the wild and so has a keen ablity to understand animals emotions and to survive in the wild.


Now if any of this doesn't fit with the story that you were planing then I can change it

JawHun
03/22/2005 4:18 PM


Now if any of this doesn't fit with the story that you were planing then I can change it


That sounds great! I especially liked the Horse Wisperer aspect; that can come in handy later. Join in whenever you feel like it, or an opportunity presents itself for your character.

Black_Plague
03/22/2005 8:04 PM

Sorry I'm late. partys dont wait

blue_raven5
04/08/2005 7:15 PM

hey, can i join? if you wanna see my rping style, go check in dragonlace rping, then look at fernwood festival. i really like this idea though, so it would be a little better than in there. anyways, heres my bio.

Name- Katra (no last name)
Age- 21
Gender-female
Eyes-currently green - they change color every year or so
Hair-long and brown
Skin-light tan
Body Type-curvy, fairly muscular, but not like those nasty girls with the huge biceps
Nationality-neutral, reth and neph mix
Personality- Shy, likes nature
Special Skills- extremely in tune with nature, and once you get past her shyness, shes wise beyond her years. While she is notthat great with weapons, she is extremely agile.
Personal History- Her mother a northerner and her father of rethian (is that the main city?) she wandered the forests for years, teaching herself and becoming more accute to changes around her. She has some odd sense that something bad is going to happen, and shes looking for the right person to tell.

if you have anything you think is dumb/anything you think i should change, let me know and i will be more than happy to accomidate any reasonable needs.

JawHun
04/08/2005 9:01 PM


rethian (is that the main city?)

Reth is not really a nation, because it is made up of a whole bunch of different tribes. In that light, they don't have a capital city. The city we are in right now, (more like a small town or village), could be considered the main one. This is because the story started in this town, and because this town is on the Nephlian/Rethian border. It will be one of the first towns attacked, and one of the major Rethian strongholds.

reth and neph mix

This is a cool idea, I never really thought of that possibility. I also like how she raised herself in the forest, because she would most likely face descrimination from both the Rethians and the Nephlians. (Tongue Twister: Rethian Nephlian x5)

So far, I really like your character. One thing I would ask of you when you decide to join in (you're invited), is to check your capitalization and spelling. Grammar errors is alright, as long as they not too often. I myself make mistakes, but I try extremely hard not to make them, and to edit them out. I don't want to be anal about it, but it just gets on my nerves. I hope that's a reasonable need ;)

After reading your post in the Fernwood Festival thread, I don't think this will be a problem at all. I also like your style. "She had sat in it every day for the past year, save the days she was out hunting, and she didn't plan to stop any time soon." Nice use of an interruptor.

In the words of Gaius, "The light of the rising sun will lead all to destiny."

Welcome to the RP, Raven.

blue_raven5
04/09/2005 1:37 PM

Thanks. Yeah, sorry about the grammar, I fix whenever I'm rping, but if im just inside the ooc page, I don't really worry about it too much.

JawHun
04/09/2005 4:46 PM


Thanks. Yeah, sorry about the grammar, I fix whenever I'm rping, but if im just inside the ooc page, I don't really worry about it too much.

I guessed as much. Good to know!

JawHun
05/02/2005 7:34 PM

Alright, I may have powergamed a bit in my most recent (and terribly long post), and that's why it took me so long to make.

BP, I'm sorry I controlled your char a little tiny bit, (restricting his speaking and moving at that one part), but Kirak was "posessed" by the power of Gaius, who is pretty much God in this instance. So I thought it was justified. Plus, it sounds really cool. If you have a really big problem with it, then you should loosen up a bit. I suspect you'll be cool with it, though.

Now that is a pretty big twist. But hey, sometimes big twists are what's needed. Hope this doesn't mess up the post.

Black_Plague
05/03/2005 5:23 PM

DO IT AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU. nah im kidding, just dont controll my charachter into waltzing off of a cliff or something, this is an awesome little thread.

JawHun
06/06/2005 11:32 PM

I'm afraid, everyone, that this thread [i]has[/i] died. It's probably my fault, I didn't nurture it, I didn't develop it, I left it for worst. Sorry to all of you. I'm willing to try and continue if you guys are. If this thread has truly died, then I can pull it back into the depths from which it came. This, truly, is my favorite thread (that I made). If you guys don't like it, then I guess I'll make it a book on my own.

blue_raven5
06/07/2005 9:15 AM

[i] I [/i] like it, at least. If you wanna bring it back, I would be more than happy to participate in this. Send me a PM or something if you do actually get this back together.

Black_Plague
06/07/2005 3:54 PM

I'm in if you guys still are.

Kolath
06/13/2005 4:33 PM

I'm still in I just didn't know where to move

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