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Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)
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SisqAlpha
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Tuesday September 25, 2007 11:50 PM
Oh that was fucked up. That reminds me of another one though....



A guy with leprosy walked into the bar one day and sat down for a drink. When the bartender came by, he began to gag and beat a hasty retreat to the other side of the bar.

The guy with leprosy ordered another drink and the bartender came back, once again gagging as he left.

This continued for a while until the guy with leprosy asked the bartender what his fucking problem was.

The bartender replied: "It's not you, or your leprosy. It's the blind guy sitting next to you, dipping his chip in your arm."
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #321000 - This was a reply to message #320982
Avenging_Angel
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


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Saturday October 20, 2007 5:00 PM
Two I heard today that amused me more then they should have....


What's the easiest way to kill a pair of Jews?


Toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death.




What's the easiest way to kill a pair of Catholic priests?

Toss a young boy between them. The winner gets to fight Michael Jackson.
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #321728 - This was a reply to message #321000
ZombieKiller13
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Saturday October 20, 2007 9:08 PM
Thought I'd post some white jokes. lol.

How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!
REPLY
There's no use crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. = Still Alive - GLaDOS - Portal

If he gets up we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy! - Bender - The Breakfast Club

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
 Message #321730 - This was a reply to message #321728
SisqAlpha
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Tuesday October 23, 2007 4:11 PM
QUOTED  What's the easiest way to kill a pair of Jews?


Toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death.




What's the easiest way to kill a pair of Catholic priests?

Toss a young boy between them. The winner gets to fight Michael Jackson.



Someone has been watching the new Jeff Dunham clip online

Those ones made me laugh too.



A guy donated blood to save the life of his girlfriend. A few months later, they broke up and he demanded that she give it back. The woman went into the bathroom and when she came out, she threw a bloody tampon at him and said "Here, asshole. I'll pay it monthly."
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #321758 - This was a reply to message #321730
SisqAlpha
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Tuesday October 23, 2007 4:22 PM
Sorry to double post, but I just remembered one that I heard on the radio.



The Mayor of Pheonix, Arizona was having a serious problem with pigeons in his city. They were shitting everywhere and no matter what was tried, they just wouldn't go away.

One day a guy came up to him and told him he could get rid of the pigeons. The Mayor was interested and asked what it would cost.
The guy replied "I'll do it for free... on one condition. No questions asked."
"If you ask a question, it'll cost $5million."

The mayor agreed to the terms and the guy pulled a bright blue pigeon out of his truck. He released the bird and as it circled the city, all the other pigeons began to follow it. The blue pigeon flew out into the desert and when it returned several hours later, it was alone.

The Mayor was curious, so he told the guy he would pay the $5million if he could ask just one question.
"Sure." The guy replied.

The mayor handed him the check and asked "Do you have any blue mexicans in your truck?"
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #321759 - This was a reply to message #321758
Lich_Nexus
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


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Friday December 7, 2007 7:53 AM
Question: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Answer: *make gagging sound*
REPLY
Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #322417 - This was a reply to message #321759
Lich_Nexus
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


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Friday December 7, 2007 7:59 AM
Oh...

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing... you already told the bitch twice!

What does a 100 battered women have in common?
They just don't know when to shut the fuck up!
REPLY
Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #322418 - This was a reply to message #322417
Lich_Nexus
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


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Friday December 7, 2007 8:25 AM
Oh, and what does discussing terms with the mafia and eating pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!
REPLY
Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #322421 - This was a reply to message #322418
SisqAlpha
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Tuesday April 22, 2008 7:09 PM
I can't believe you went to the battered women jokes....... Wait. Yeah I believe it. You forgot one, boss.

What does a woman do after she gets out of the hospital?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.



BTW, the Cinderella one actually made me laugh out loud.





OO OO OO, got a new one on my phone.


Why does Hershey's make white chocolate?

So little black kids can have dirty faces too!

*Ducks flying cabbages*
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #325710 - This was a reply to message #322421
Avenging_Angel
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


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Friday June 20, 2008 6:42 PM
One I got in a forward a while back...


A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it's a gay bar.

"What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink." When the gay
waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?"

The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the
name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan,"Just
Do It." That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.' "

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a
second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who
is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" the fella proudly replies,"Cause it
takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'"

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up
with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and
exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look
asks,"Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"




[[Edited by Avenging_Angel on Friday June 20, 2008 7:03 PM]]
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #326668 - This was a reply to message #325710

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