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Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)
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TOPIC: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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SisqAlpha
Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Friday July 20, 2007 8:11 PM
I want to hear them, those totally tasteless jokes we all know. I don't care what the topic is as long as people don't get TOO butthurt over it. I'm going to refrain from posting mine until I see what avenue this thread takes
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #318826
Darthwedge
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Friday July 20, 2007 9:10 PM
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks what he wants. The fish replies "Water"
REPLY
Peace is but a shadow of death, desperate to forget its painful past. Though we hope for promising years, after shedding a thousand tears, yesterday's sorrow constantly nears. And while the moon still shines blue, by dawn it will turn a scarlet hue....

-Kuja FF9
 Message #318831 - This was a reply to message #318826
Silveran
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)


Contributor: Gold: This member has donated over $50 to the RPG Consortium. Master Sweeper: The member that got voted as a master sweeper during a sweepsweek.

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Saturday July 21, 2007 8:05 AM
Two gay guys walk by a sperm bank. One looks at the other and asks, "Wanna cold one?"

***

What do you call 13 witches in a hot-tub? A self-cleaning coven.

***

A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide.
One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got phyrrea; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated the guide comments, "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."

*****

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
REPLY
Death before Dishonor -- Nothing before Coffee

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
 Message #318851 - This was a reply to message #318831
Darthwedge
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Saturday July 21, 2007 10:12 AM
A teacher in a class was talking about whales, she stated that it would be impossible for a whale to swallow a human. A girl got up in class and said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher scoffed at this and continued her lesson. The girl then said "When i get to heaven, ill ask jonah"

The teacher retaliated by saying "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The girl then said "Then you ask him"

[[Edited by Darthwedge on Saturday July 21, 2007 10:14 AM]]
REPLY
Peace is but a shadow of death, desperate to forget its painful past. Though we hope for promising years, after shedding a thousand tears, yesterday's sorrow constantly nears. And while the moon still shines blue, by dawn it will turn a scarlet hue....

-Kuja FF9
 Message #318853 - This was a reply to message #318851
SisqAlpha
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Sunday July 22, 2007 11:14 AM
LOL. Ok, the worms one ranks up ther with some of the worse ones I've heard. OK, I'll put one up now.


this guy went over to his girlfriend's house one night, hoping to score once again. When he got there he was disappointed to find out that she was on her period.

Being A fairly creative horny teenager, the boy told his girlfriend "I'll tell you what, I'll go down on you, run into the bathroom with a mouthful, and spit it out. We'll keep doing this until you are dry enough to have sex." The girl agreed and they went to her room.

The boy got a mouthful of menstrual fluid and ran into the bathroom, spit it out and returned to her room. After a couple of trips back and forth to the bathroom, the girl's father began to get suspicious.

The boy came running out of his girlfriend's bedroom with a mouthful of menstrual fluid and ran smack into her father's chest. "what are you doing?" He demanded.

Mmff Mmmmnnn MMMfff. The boy replied.

"What do you have in your mouth?" The father asked the boy. Gulping loudly, the boy answered "Tomato soup"
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #318882 - This was a reply to message #318853
Max
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Sunday July 22, 2007 12:33 PM
That's just sick.
REPLY
Work Hard, Play Hard, Live Hard,


but Love softly, and with All your Heart
 Message #318891 - This was a reply to message #318882
Darthwedge
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Sunday July 22, 2007 12:37 PM
Better not let Nanuk see that. She will explode.
REPLY
Peace is but a shadow of death, desperate to forget its painful past. Though we hope for promising years, after shedding a thousand tears, yesterday's sorrow constantly nears. And while the moon still shines blue, by dawn it will turn a scarlet hue....

-Kuja FF9
 Message #318894 - This was a reply to message #318891
nanuk
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Sunday July 22, 2007 1:49 PM
With laughter you mean.

Joke's on the guy- girl was getting some jollies, why would I complain?

Although I, personally, do not know any males who would resort to that. They'd just 'stick it in there', as the kids say. Maybe lay a towel on the bed first, who knows.
REPLY
"Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, Colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?"

"Colon Explorer?"

"You know what I'm saying."
 Message #318912 - This was a reply to message #318894
DarkDalamar20
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Monday July 23, 2007 12:01 PM
One day a man is sitting in his favorite recliner when his door bell chimes. He gets up and answers the door, and after looking around doesn't see anyone. Just as he is about to shut the door he looks down and sees a snail sitting on his welcome mat.

"What the hell?" The man mutters and proceeds to pick up the snail and throw it as hard as he can into a field across the street.

6 months go by.

The man is again sitting in his recliner when he again hears the door bell chime. He gets up and once again there is no one there. He is about to shut the door when he sees what looks to be the same snail on the welcome mat.

Before he can do anything the snail looks up and shouts, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!"
REPLY
Am I a bad person doing good things...or a good person doing bad things... - Dexter
 Message #318955 - This was a reply to message #318912
Max
RE: Totally Tasteless Jokes (May become obscene)

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Monday July 23, 2007 6:35 PM
One evening the bartender noticed a rowdy group of young men shouting and laughing, apparently at one poor man's expense. Interested, he kept an eye and an ear out on the group.

Half an hour later, the poor man managed to squeeze his way out of the mob and towards the bar. He sat on one of the barstools and ordered five shots of "the strongest stuff you got."

Quickly pulling out the glasses and preparing the drinks, the bartender asked what the occasion was.

"My first blowjob," he sullenly replied.

"Well, that's fantastic! In that case, the 6th shot is on the house!" the bartender exclaimed, reaching for another glass.

"No, no," he said. "If five shots won't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

[[Edited by Max on Monday July 23, 2007 6:36 PM]]
REPLY
Work Hard, Play Hard, Live Hard,


but Love softly, and with All your Heart
 Message #318967 - This was a reply to message #318955

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