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TOPIC: Funny Is...

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TheShadowlord
RE: Funny Is...

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Friday March 12, 2010 11:34 PM
I've never underestood these religius nuts. Full frontal two armed hugs means genitals are rubbing (huh?) so that encourages people to have sex, so let's not hug people anymore.

I mean, you can't expect people to show restraint or self-control, can you?

Next stop: burkas.
REPLY
I feel happy...I feel happy!

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Stephen Roberts
 Message #336123 - This was a reply to message #336122
Avenging_Angel
RE: Funny Is...


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Thursday March 25, 2010 1:46 PM
Funny is a huge hazmat scare on campus. Especially since I managed to sleep through the whole thing thanks to working late.

Even better?
It was at the cafeteria.

EDIT: The official announcement said that the biohazards were removed, but I noticed the Scrambled Egg Surprise is still there...

On the bright side, there's the off-chance if I keep eating there I'll develop mutant powers. It would almost make it worthwhile.
Almost.

[[Edited by Avenging_Angel on Thursday March 25, 2010 1:51 PM]]
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #336202 - This was a reply to message #336123
Kitiara
RE: Funny Is...


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Sunday March 28, 2010 1:43 PM
Funny is the older of the two aboriginal girls my mum is fostering, correcting mum on her syntax. I've changed her name for the sake of her privacy, Kungka means girl or young woman in Njaantjatjarra.

Kungka: "You should bin gibbit me that tea."
Mum: "I already bin gibbit you."
Kungka: "DID... you should say 'I did gibbit'."
Mum: "Sorry Kungka".
REPLY
Anyone you can describe as chipper is to be avoided. You never know when they'll crack. Eventually, they're gonna start gnawing on the nearest thing they can, whether it's a hood ornament or wristwatch, wrist still attached; a moment when that uniform they've made for themselves breaks down and they fall to pieces, right out of it. Give me the life-haters any day. They'll play you straight. -Oobie
 Message #336207 - This was a reply to message #336202
TheShadowlord
RE: Funny Is...

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Monday March 29, 2010 7:49 AM
*feels an urge to learn an Australian language*

What is 'gibbit'? 'give it'?
I assume it wasn't 'gibbet', since it was apparantly used as a non-finite verb.
REPLY
I feel happy...I feel happy!

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Stephen Roberts
 Message #336211 - This was a reply to message #336207
Kitiara
RE: Funny Is...


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Monday March 29, 2010 2:03 PM
Yeah, they speak their own language a lot of the time, which we're slowly learning, so their English is very patchy and often they only have a very superficial understanding of what we're saying. We've enrolled her in the local school and yesterday I was helping her do her homework. I got her to copy out all her spelling words, then read them back to me and put them in a sentence so I knew she understood the words contextually. My favourite was her take on "shall"... "I did bin find a good shall at the beach". Er... Not quite, sweetie...
REPLY
Anyone you can describe as chipper is to be avoided. You never know when they'll crack. Eventually, they're gonna start gnawing on the nearest thing they can, whether it's a hood ornament or wristwatch, wrist still attached; a moment when that uniform they've made for themselves breaks down and they fall to pieces, right out of it. Give me the life-haters any day. They'll play you straight. -Oobie
 Message #336212 - This was a reply to message #336211
Avenging_Angel
RE: Funny Is...


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Thursday April 8, 2010 3:40 PM
Funny is being a lifetime resident of tornado alley - my reaction to be woken by tornado sirens a few days ago? Make sure the building wasn't shaking, then roll over and go back to sleep.
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #336252 - This was a reply to message #336212
SisqAlpha
RE: Funny Is...

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Sunday May 16, 2010 6:57 PM
Funny is:

We took the kids down to the lake today with my cousin and his crew so that we could let the rug monkeys ride the new dirt bike they got for little Tyler. It's just a little Yamaha 50cc. Well, me and my cousin tried and tried and tried to get the damned thing started up but to no avail. We checked the fuel lines, checked and rechecked the fuel shut off valve, and looked at anything that might be affecting the bike.
That's when I saw the spark plug boot had a large crack in it and I wondered if it was getting spark. So I told the oldest boy to put his finger on it and told my cousin to kick it over. He did, and he did, and the boy jerked himself upright, sat down on the car bumper, and started shaking his hand vigorously. My cousin, while laughing his ass off, told me what an asshole I was and I, while laughing my ass off, told the boy to never do that with a car or it would hurt about ten times worse.

At least we knew the engine was getting spark after that
REPLY
"Tuna and bread. Tuna and bread."-----

"Fuck tuna and bread. Star Trek is on."
-------------------------------------------------
"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." ~George S. Patton
 Message #336615 - This was a reply to message #336252
Avenging_Angel
RE: Funny Is...


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Monday July 5, 2010 4:19 PM
Funny is a drunk middle-aged history professor explaining why my relationship failed.

"Well, this guy... you said he was Swedish right?"
"All Danish."
"Same fucking difference. That's the problem though."
"That he wasn't Swedish?"
"No! Tall, blond haired, blue eyed, Danish... obviously he was of Viking descent."
"... well, he did have one of those horned helmets. Made of plastic, but still."
"Exactly. See, he was a Viking. And you're Irish. And the goddamn Vikes have always treated the Irish like that one awkward ginger kid in highschool that everyone beats the shit out of because it's funny to watch them pull their head out of the toilet. And the Vikings are the football team."
"You lost me."
"I'm fucking saying that it was obviously not your fault it fell through, you were fighting hundreds of years of intercultural strife. Duh."
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #337458 - This was a reply to message #336615
nanuk
RE: Funny Is...

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Monday July 12, 2010 3:33 PM
Heh, the guy's a genius. Explains a lot about our family (have some waaaaay back 'viking' blood on the gingeryest side, my nan claims, lol).
REPLY
"Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, Colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?"

"Colon Explorer?"

"You know what I'm saying."
 Message #337511 - This was a reply to message #337458
Avenging_Angel
RE: Funny Is...


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Wednesday July 14, 2010 11:24 AM
Funny (in a horrible way) is getting a "satisfaction survey" from the clinic I went to for my tonsilitis.

Rate our service from 1-10: -666

Rate our staff: Incapable of listening to patients.

Rate your recovery: Well, I got over the tonsilitis fine. The violent allergic reaction to the antibiotics you gave me (despite repeated requests not to be prescribed penicillin, what with the whole family being allergic) nearly killed me, but hey, my throat's not sore anymore. You can't make an omelette without sending someone to the emergency room.

Additional comments: This whole fiasco proves my theory that nothing good comes from the Quad Cities.

Additional questions: I paid how much for this bullshit?!
REPLY
Everywhere I go I repeat: I do not belong here.

Who will bring me hemlock in their own hands?
- Renee Vivien

Reality is an illusion that occurs with a lack of alcohol.
 Message #337524 - This was a reply to message #337511

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