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TOPIC: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Unbeliever
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club


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Monday January 28, 2008 10:01 PM
QUOTED  So in other words, put up a facade...


Well, if you suck, yeah.
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2011 was way more apocalypsey than 2012.
 Message #323227 - This was a reply to message #323197
LunaMaria
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Tuesday January 29, 2008 2:41 PM
I've got a new level of self confidence this last to weeks, (its not a negative number on a scale of one to ten any more). I got to finally update my wardrobe. Not clothe whory but just new stuff to replace old, I've been getting compliments in replacement of sarcasm building up over two years. With this in mind I've had a rain check on the guys at my school and come to the sod it all conclusion. There are nice guys (in every way) but I'm in the friend box with them and they all have girlfriends(Thus more off limits). There are no guys I would seriously think about going out with and thats not a problem. I think the need for a relationship in my case is just my wanting someone to fully except who I am, if my friends are going to do that now then theres less need. I would be nice through.

The problem with the shy guy is even if you like him and he's nice to you thats how he acts with most people and so you don't think he's interested in you. If he doesn't seem interested then you don't feel you can ask him out or that how I find it.

There is also the problem that a number (5) nice guys are gay in my social group making less "targets".
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"I have no idea with what weapons World War 3 will be fought with but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones."

One day I'll cause that war, Terran Empire anyone?
 Message #323249 - This was a reply to message #323227
Namiko
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Wednesday January 30, 2008 5:08 PM
Well I found it that if you wish for a relationship it will never appear. That is how things just roll around. In my last relationship(if I may call it that) we met by accident and started dating by accident. Regardless of how difficult you may think that finding a relationship is, the hardest part is letting go of all the mind buggers that tell keep reminding people why they do not have a relationship, it may turn to create a low self esteem problem. Yeah, it may be nice to find someone to fall in love with but for those out there enjoy your single lifes as much as possible because love strikes when you never expect it
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Ame-me, odeie-me, seu todo o mesmo a mim na extremidade. Eu gostaria se os povos fossem agradáveis a mim desde que eu sou agradável a eles.
 Message #323276 - This was a reply to message #323249
Unsinn
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Friday February 1, 2008 10:28 AM
QUOTED  Contrary to popular belief, girls aren't after assholes. Some just wind up with them because they're good at pretending. Or, they're just flawed people who have a hard time adjusting to relationships. Not every asshole in the world is the wife-beater, verbally abusive dickhead. And not every person that can't get a date is roses, sunshine, and sweet, sweet cuddles.


Well said Unbeliever.
Especially concerning the common misconception about what women are interested in. Some of the more discerning ladies are after gentlemen who are not assholes. And unless you happen to be an asshole, doesn't that mean you have a better chance of ending up with a woman who is more into you? Let's be positive here.

Another good point is that the lady or gentleman you're having a crush on is most likely not all candy-corn and carnations. If you do not know the person you have affections for very well, you can find yourself very, very wrong about them later on. That's why I think many other responses made here concerning lasting relationships ring true: if you wish to become even closer to others, befriend them first by being yourself. ^_^

In short, I combined a lot of good points the others have already made. I'm off to have a cookie!
REPLY
"There's no telling if the man who speaks now is the waker or the dreamer." -Laozi
 Message #323302 - This was a reply to message #323152
Lich_Nexus
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club


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Saturday February 2, 2008 7:19 AM
Oh shit... come on ladies, can we have a bit of honesty here?!

When I'm speaking of facade, I'm not suggesting for one to act like an asshole or pretend to be someone you're not. I'm saying don't act like a scared little boy.

If some guy asks anyone of you out, "Gee Mary Ellen, uhhhm would you like to hang out, or like... maybe go out with me sometime?" while staring at the ground, hands in pocket. Honestly, what are you going to say?

All this special connection and meaningful relationship hogwash is starting to offend me. It gives lust a bad name. You can have all that with a woman who is just a friend. Sex... physical intmacy... is that not the desired outcome?

Yeah, befriend a woman, but let your romantic inclinations be known from the start. But don't try to earn her friendship, that can come later. My suggestion is to first earn her respect.
REPLY
Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #323315 - This was a reply to message #323302
Unsinn
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Saturday February 2, 2008 12:51 PM
QUOTED  Sex... physical intmacy... is that not the desired outcome?


While it is a nice bonus, I would disagree if you are suggesting that physicality is the entire desired outcome, Lich. But perhaps I'm just too much of a romantic sap that way.

Don't get me wrong though; pure unadulterated lust has its place... >=}
but I'm more concerned with who someone is and how important they are to me before I jump their bones. Maybe I'm alone here.


QUOTED  Yeah, befriend a woman, but let your romantic inclinations be known from the start. But don't try to earn her friendship, that can come later. My suggestion is to first earn her respect.



While I do agree with your comments on flirting and respect, I suppose that's what I meant by being yourself. If you want to be with someone, let them know, and earn their trust. For goodness sakes, don't let the opportunity pass you by.

I personally tend to be more cautious about the whole matter, and have my opinions on being friends first. So perhaps I should have put the "in my opinion" disclaimer on what I said, because I disagree.

So yes, if you are more casual about it, why not? =) You might as well put yourself out there.
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"There's no telling if the man who speaks now is the waker or the dreamer." -Laozi
 Message #323324 - This was a reply to message #323315
Unbeliever
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club


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Saturday February 2, 2008 4:55 PM
QUOTED  Another good point is that the lady or gentleman you're having a crush on is most likely not all candy-corn and carnations. If you do not know the person you have affections for very well, you can find yourself very, very wrong about them later on.


Another fine point. I'd always taken the friend approach as a matter of comfort level, really, more than anyone else. But it only makes sense that you'd know a person a lot better being a real friend (not just someone that you occasionally hang out with... how everyone you know counts as a friend to most people is beyond me) to them first. And vice versa.

I've known an awful lot of people that throw themselves into something like that, doing everything they can for a person as a friend, just in hopes of getting their attention. And it never occurs to them that they aren't getting even half that consideration back. That should tell you something.

It seems people are, more often than not, interested in just being with -someone- rather than someone that will actually be good for them.

QUOTED  All this special connection and meaningful relationship hogwash is starting to offend me. It gives lust a bad name. You can have all that with a woman who is just a friend.


You -can-, but... it's more satisfying with the sex thrown in.

I was about to put the tongue-out smiley guy there, but I'm afraid that would make people think I wasn't serious. Nice as it is to have -anyone- that you can have some kind of a connection with, one of those people you can talk about anything with, it's a whole hell of a lot nicer with a significant other. Along with the respect you mention, Lich, it breeds more trust and other warm fuzzies.

And now I'd like to shoot myself in the head for not being able to come up with anything that sounded better than warm fuzzies...

QUOTED  Maybe I'm alone here.


It's stranger when you're in a group of guys and you say that. Get a lot of funny looks, lemme tell ya.
REPLY
2011 was way more apocalypsey than 2012.
 Message #323334 - This was a reply to message #323324
Lich_Nexus
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club


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Sunday February 3, 2008 8:36 AM
QUOTED  While it is a nice bonus, I would disagree if you are suggesting that physicality is the entire desired outcome, Lich. But perhaps I'm just too much of a romantic sap that way.


What I am suggesting is sexual attraction is the first response and the reasoning why one moves on to the next phase of getting to know you. That chemical spark, which opens the possiblity of a meaningful connection. Physical intimacy is the final piece of the puzzle; a lack of it is the entire undesired outcome.

QUOTED  Don't get me wrong though; pure unadulterated lust has its place... >=}
but I'm more concerned with who someone is and how important they are to me before I jump their bones. Maybe I'm alone here.


Of course... I don't care how attractive I find a woman, if she has a big dunce stamp on her forehead I wouldn't waste my time... unless I was drunk

But really what is the difference? You've shared your mind... your hopes, your dreams... your deepest, inner feelings. What makes physically intimacy more sacred than that?

QUOTED  I personally tend to be more cautious about the whole matter, and have my opinions on being friends first. So perhaps I should have put the "in my opinion" disclaimer on what I said, because I disagree.


No sweat, that's what dating is for. So what is this being friends first rule cover? Sex?

My distaste for being friends first is a romantic desire in a woman you've already established as a friend because you didn't have the cajones to make a move dictating you're romantic interest when the relastionship was developing. Once you are in the friend zone the gig is up. Any man who sticks around after that is a fool, and any woman who keeps him around is selfish.
REPLY
Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #323345 - This was a reply to message #323324
Lich_Nexus
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club


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Sunday February 3, 2008 8:53 AM
QUOTED  You -can-, but... it's more satisfying with the sex thrown in.


Yeah... no shit dude!

My point was to say if I now found myself in a situation where I heard, "Well, I really just want to be your friend". I'm going to say, "Well, I really just wanted to fuck you". Then go home and pound a 5th of whisky and write a three page drunken rant here at the forums.

My quota of women who won't sleep with me is full at the mo

QUOTED  It's stranger when you're in a group of guys and you say that. Get a lot of funny looks, lemme tell ya.


And I'm sure they were thinking the same thing I am...

FAG!
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Pierced from below, souls of my trecherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above


The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks!
 Message #323346 - This was a reply to message #323334
Unsinn
RE: RPG Consortium Lonely Hearts Club

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Sunday February 3, 2008 11:05 AM
QUOTED  So what is this being friends first rule cover? Sex?


Of course! But actually, for me, dating too. I suppose I limit myself that way but I also have the luxury to do so, as I was single by choice before I met Chung. In fact, I dumped my last girlfriend and turned down several offers from guys that weren't worth it to me since then. Personally, it's because I'm picky and don't like putting up with crap.

But since you asked about me, now you know!
*cue Bill Nye's now you know voice*

QUOTED  But really what is the difference? You've shared your mind... your hopes, your dreams... your deepest, inner feelings. What makes physically intimacy more sacred than that?


I never said it was more sacred, in fact I personally believe that one's personal thoughts and feelings are more important. I just think balance is key for how physically, mentally, and emotionally close you are with someone, at least for me. A lot of people rush into focusing on the physical side of things and overlook who their with, which was really the point I was trying to make.

QUOTED 
QUOTED  It's stranger when you're in a group of guys and you say that. Get a lot of funny looks, lemme tell ya.


And I'm sure they were thinking the same thing I am...

FAG!

...

*hands Unbeliever a bundle of sticks for lighting on fire* >.>
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"There's no telling if the man who speaks now is the waker or the dreamer." -Laozi
 Message #323351 - This was a reply to message #323345

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