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If it keeps him from committing to the lady, that adds a challenge and a hint of tragedy. There is also still the risk of loss of control for the lady, but in a nicer positive way. The knights preferred build screams Good Breeding Stock with broad shoulders and an overall muscular look. Perhaps one or two scars hint at his prowess in battle.
There are also a few elements that can be a big turn off to women. At any given time during a romantic scene the female character should remain in control of what happens, even if only subtly. She wants to be seduced, not controlled and romance should only happen if she wants it, even if subconsciously (as can be read in descriptions of her emotions). It is the challenge of facing danger that thrills women, not the actual abuse of rape or beatings.
Since most ladies are attracted to a form of danger, males who are too soft and do not radiate power in any way shape or form will never become real heroes. Sorry, but wimps are simply not that attractive.
And lastly remember that the chase is half the fun and that goes for ladies too. Make sure the hero is a challenge and do not roll over and declare undying love after having met only hours ago. Seducing a woman does not mean committing heart and soul. The reward of taming the hero should be hard work.
This article was written as part of Project Eve. Many thanks go to the women who shared their thoughts with me. Literature used: How to write a romance for the new markets and get it published! by Kathryn Falk (1999, USA).